Well tuesday was a normal day until lunch time. Lunch time came, I and ran to walmart. Figured nothing was going to happen she had just had surgery monday & was OK-- not super great but nothing out of the norm. I first get a call while in the car, from her nurse. Stating that her stryder (the noices made when she breaths) are getting worse, so they start steriods. About 10 minutes later as I am parking at walmart I get a call from the nurse practioner, and she says the same thing but they are also going to up her helliox. It is a combination of hellium and oxygen. Hellium can travel threw smaller areas than oxygen, so it makes it eaiser to breath. I agree, and head into walmart. The phone rings again-- it is again the hospital. I answer, and this time it is her doctor, and she doesn't sound pleased. She just kinda sighs and says "Mama, your not going anywhere." My heart drops. She explains that Eva's air way is not safe, and is severly constricted and partially collasped. And then she says the word-- Trach-- tears roll down my face.. I try not to but a trach? We had never expected that-- she has been off of breathing support for almost 2 months! But I agree, knowing that it will help her! I gather my thought's and my items, and check out.
Headed back to the hospital, in tears I have to pull over. I am sitting there on the side of the road just crying and begging God. But then it hits me, after all we have been threw this trach? It's a peice of cake! I get back to be with her and she is breathign so hard, she is miserable! I ASK them to intubate her- and they agree.
The rest of that day and night was a blur.. Couldn't sleep much so I was up pestering the nurses and doctor's at 6 am. Around 11 it's that time. Surgery time, we try not to be to emotional but ... Oh it is just so hard! But they start to wheel her away, this tiny baby in this huge crib--I look down the hall to 3 doctor's wheeling away my entire world. My heart drops and stays there for the entire 2 hours.
FINALLY!!! She is out of surgery! Oh the trach looks so horrid- my heart breaks for her! Will she be upset with me for agreeing to this, will she understand how hard it was to do. Will she know that I only wanted what was best for her? Oh how I hope so...
So there it is-- she has a trach. And is beautiful!